Better Late then Never!

I have finally decided to dive into some of the books I have about expat living and the pros and cons about going global for children. I'm not sure why I have waited until we are almost 9 months into Danny's assignment. I'm assuming I didn't do much research before we came because I was in denial. To read and acknowledge the fact that after we complete this assignment we will be changed people made it all too real. The first few months here I was too busy trying to keep my head above water to even think about learning what all this "global nomad" stuff meant! And now, I guess I have decided that it is better late than never to find out how other's experiences have shaped them, their family unit, and most importantly, the children.

The first book I read, Raising Global Nomads, by Robin Pascoe was very interesting. In fact, I read the entire thing in a day because I felt like she had somehow been living my life. I even cried to myself as she started at the beginning when the decision to take an overseas assignment is brought up. For us, it was almost a year ago when we found out that we were going to begin our adventure. I still get tears in my eyes thinking about that day because it is still so hard being away from so many people we love, but now I also get tears in my eyes knowing that we are going to have to say good bye to some dear friends at the end of this school year.

One of the things I am most interested in gaining insight into from these books is how to make all of the transitions that we will go through over the next couple of years as smooth as possible on the children. I am lucky that my kids are young enough that it appears they don't care one way or another where we are located at any given time. Danny and I try and make them feel secure and loved wherever we are, but just as we have changed, I have noticed many changes in each of the kids. I'm not sure how many of these things are due to us moving overseas or to the fact that they are growing up! Ellie is now very independent and is much more outgoing than ever before. She loves her new friends and thrives in the small classroom environment. Ethan is also a little independent soul who is full of enthusiasm. He loves his friends also and delights in learning more about the countries they come from!! Cooper is a bit less independent than he was. He is touched by strangers so often that he now can be a bit rude to people he doesn't know. He prefers to be with me most of the time, in the safety of our house. I feel like he has not made a lot of social progress here, but I'm sure this will change when he starts school!

In Raising Global Nomads, the author listed many pros for children living in another country for some part of their childhood...these children appear to be "alert, intelligent, and geographically aware", "mature, sensitive, and skilled at listening" (I'm not sure that will be the outcome for my lovely children!!), "likely to exhibit tolerance and cross-cultural understanding", "flexible and open to change" (they have no choice!!), "high achieving", and many are eventually "drawn to careers associated with service to the community or the world". If there are pros, there have to be cons also. The drawbacks of taking a child on an overseas assignment can be..."the overseas experience makes them feel different", "they gravitate to others like themselves", "children are silent partners in relocation", and "global nomads have issues of unresolved grief".

I personally think the pros outweigh the cons, but I think the issue of unresolved grief is a big one that will be all too real for us in the coming months! We will all have to learn that it is okay to get close to people, even though one or the other will eventually leave the country to return to their home country. Our kids will also have to get used to long summers at home with family and friends and then saying good-bye once again in August. It is not going to be easy, but I am hoping that all of the positive experiences we have will outweigh the sadness that comes with each good-bye!!

I have to say that I have been pleasantly surprised at the ease in which we have settled into our new life here in China. Of course, I have had days that I have wanted to catch the next flight to Chicago and never step foot outside of the US again, but I know if I were to do that, I would be missing out on so many beautiful places and people that this world has to offer!! I hope in the coming years that El, Eens and Coop see it this way too and instead of being sad about the good-byes, they delight in what is new and cherish all of those they have met along the way!!